Confrontations in the Drag

I could kill Kaste.

We were talkin’ when Verrin showed up. Kaste left when I told him too… but kept within earshot.

We argued. Everytime I got close ’nuff to Verrin to get a good hold on him, he’d back away. Durgan was in control for the most part, and as angry as Durgan makes me… I can turn that anger into somethin’ useful. He said that… he said that he told Verrin ’bout me.

Verrin will know not to trust him, right? At least, not to… well, he’ll know that I had my reasons for what I’ve done. He has to know that. Killing Durgan hadn’t been ’bout just… just wantin’ to hurt someone, anyone–or at least if it had been, then he wasn’t exactly a bad choice–right?

No. I ain’t gonna feel guilty for what I did. I’m done with that. If Verrin wants to ask after it, when he’s got his own mind back… then I’ll tell him ’bout it. Can’t worry ’bout it now.

Tythis talked for a while, and I think I lost some’ve my temper. It’s strange, but it’s harder to keep myself from edgin’ closer to disaster when I’m speakin’ with him. I guess ’cause he ain’t part’ve my past–and ’cause he’s a lot smarter than Durgan, for sure. Makes me more nervous than the Dalaran trash.

Kaste came back, wanted to help.

Gods, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry ’bout any’ve it. Kaste… insulted Verrin’s pants, of all things.  I love Kaste. I want him to be with me on this. I want someone there to say stupid things and act like it’s nothin’ more’n a playground fight, but who’s got the spine to fight even if it’s a lot more dangerous than that.

I said some hurtful things to Kaste. I was angry. I still am angry. I made him promise to keep out’ve it, and somehow I’m still lettin’ him find a way in. Told him I didn’t want to see him again till all’ve this mess was sorted out.  He chased after Verrin, but Verrin got away.

I think Chrysalis might be in trouble. She told me that I couldn’t blame myself for not bein’ everywhere at once, but- it’s just- I’m playin’ defense, and it don’t suit me, and I think that shows. I’m tired of havin’ to response, of bein’ the one that’s gotta work on someone else’s terms. All the same, I’ve got to wait, and wait, and wait. Got to let things line up. I can’t mess anythin’ up by rushin’ headlong in a situation that I ain’t gonna be able to control.

Something Durgan said was right, though. I hurt my friends. The people I’m s’posed to care ’bout, who love me, I end up hurtin’ them, whether I mean to or not. I shouldn’t let nothin’ he says affect me, but…

But if it’s true, then I’m bein’ selfish if I think that I should be with Kaste. Gods… tellin’ him he can’t protect me, ’cause I’m ‘fraid he’ll end up gettin’ hurt in the process? It stings somethin’ awful to be a hypocrite, but if the alternative is seein’ him… get hurt…

I hurt the people I care ’bout.

Somethings wrong with me.

The Drag, Concussions, and Ice Deflectors

I was on my way through Orgrimmar earlier tonight when I came across the body of another Sin’dorei lying on the ground. She was sprawled out in the Drag, not too far before where I woulda turned to restock my poisons. I didn’t know what to think–well, I could tell she wasn’t dead, mostly because that’s a habit you get when you’ve seen enough corpses, but I didn’t know if it was just some woman stone drunk, or if she was hurt.

Turns out it was the latter.

Also turns out that she weren’t a stranger: the woman’s name is Cable, and I knew her from the deliveries from House Esteri. I didn’t realize this till I’d already seen and felt the blood on her, but I guess it wouldn’t've changed things anyhow. I couldn’t leave no one bleedin’ to death in the middle of a city street.

Mazikeen realizes that she doesn’t actually know how to feel about that last statement–doesn’t know whether or not it’s actually true. For safety’s sake, she crosses it out.

I bandaged her up, checked her eyes. Pretty sure she had a concussion, so I did what I needed to. Had to smash up one’ve my ice deflectors (a nifty device that engineering has granted me skill with) to get at the frost oil inside. Worked out better than I had planned: froze a strip’ve wool solid in seconds! I wrapped that up a bit in some more cloth, and I think it helped keep the swelling down.

Her arm was pretty banged up, even more’n the rest’ve her body. When she was coherent again, she told me that it’d been a Tauren that’d done a number on her. I believe that much’ve it, though I’m sure she was trying to downplay any provokin’ that might’ve been done on her part. I don’t know enough ’bout any of it to make no conclusions, but none of it sits well with me.

When I got her to her feet, we went up to the local Orgrimmar doctor. She weren’t none too happy to be treated by an Orc, but that’s her own problem–I ain’t gonna coddle no one’s prejudice, ’specially when it’s impractical. After all, when all was said and done, the Orc fixed her up a good one. She’ll be able to hold a sword again, at least.

I s’pose I’ll send her something to help make her feel better. I sent Achates some tea a while back, and that seemed to help him with his cold. Maybe it’ll do something for Miss Cable.

Mostly though, I’m expectin’ her to turn around and bite the hand that helped her. I won’t take it none too personally, of course. I guess if I was from a fancy House that maybe I’d resent being helped by one’ve the lower, workin’ folk. All I know is that I did my duty as a Blood Elf, and as a member of the Silverguard.

Dunno. Maybe it just felt good to be helping instead of hurting for a time.